As I sit here and I think of my life and the could haves and would haves. I wonder about the way my life has turned out. Here I am fighting for my life and I sit back and see others that take their lives for granted. I see myself in others how they are living now. I wonder if I give advice because I want to save them? Honestly I do not know. But I am tired of being there for others and in the end all I get is disrespected. Maybe it is like that because of the things I did in my past. The way I treated others and this is like a kind of karma coming back to bite me.. I do not know. All I know is I wish that the younger me would have listened to what I was told back in the day. Maybe life for me would not be what it is right now. Who can say really? I guess that I had to learn the hard way. It is just sad to me that my hard way has lead me to what I am going through now. I just hope that for some their hard way is not the end for them. But tonight I will pray for the still suffering addict and hope that they find peace and another day..