Trying to hold it all together…

I have been on a emotional roller coaster. And I know how I feel everyday. I can not begin to explain how I feel inside.  And when people ask you and you put a smile on your face never showing how upset you really are. When I was younger I would use my addiction to explain the weight loss. And in doing that it had come to the point that became the little girl who cried wolf. Now I understand that they had gotten my lying about my addiction . When I was finally diagnosed in 2007 . I automatically wanted to tell my family I was really sick. And they probably thought of myself. When I done my first round of treatment I had removed my self from my family and thought that I dealt with my addiction. And then if you look to the future right now. I am taking meds and I am sick. But there is a difference. I am surrounded by my family and my friends and I know I am not alone.. I am scared but I am not alone. And I am trying to hold it together for them. But I can’t anymore. And that is where I feel vulnerable . And I hate that feeling. I know speaking with my doctor is different. But I am not there right now.. I am going to have an MRI  gone of my brain. Because of the shaking and the blurriness when I am trying to do everything and I can’t for the life of me try to understand how  I am going through this… Maybe I will find out ay somepoint.

By aprilgaddis10

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