Facing Death

Yesterday was the wake of a friend I lost last week. I did not go. It is so hard to see that right now. I have been to many funerals but here lately I have not wanted to go. I know that it is something I will face myself one day. But I cant seem to bring myself to do so. See since I have been sick and the unfortunate accident that happened going on 7 years ago. I have not been able to bring myself to seeing a dead body. I am not sure if I am scared or I am not sure how I will react. But either way I am not willing to see how I will react. I feel like I have seen enough death for one lifetime and I feel like I do not know what to say about it. I did not know him half as well as I should and I granted did not pretend that we were close. I feel bad for not going to pay respects but I feel like I can make my peace with him no matter where I am. Becca and James came by and said no one really came. I felt bad about that but like I said I never faked it. Why do we do that? When someone dies.. there are people who believe if they act a certain way people will react. But it is all a lie. A sham… So why is it widely used when one dies. I just do not get it…

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By aprilgaddis10

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